30 March 2017

In real life something disturbing happened a few years ago.

My step-father entered my secured building without my signing him in, then he knocked on the door to my apartment without calling me first. When I opened the door he said a host of rude & crude things to me and tried to degrade me. He used verbal and physical force and while pushing me back into my apartment tried to pin me against a wall.

I quickly ducked down and ran to a friend’s apartment who let me in without any questions. He came to the door but then left.

That event really scared me. I reported it to the police but I never told anyone else about it until years later when the trauma was showing up in what people would call nightmares and I worked through the fear with a therapist.

Last night, that person was in my dream. So now when that happens it really gets my attention.

In the dream, at the beginning it is my birthday and I’m in a hospital room getting a check up. I don’t feel a lot of pain, but whatever the issue is, it is causing significant enough discomfort to warrant a doctor’s visit and they are willing to check it out.

Before this, I had been enjoying my birthday. Rhett & Link and Gracie and I were hanging out. Link was riding down the cement railing of an outdoor staircase, like a skate-boarder without a board, and Rhett was nearby encouraging him. We just had fun, hanging out.

Then in the hospital room I was asked to change but the blankets were all mixed up. I had an over-sized jacket, a sheet, a warm blanket and a hospital gown I was trying to make sense of and the doctor mentioned the jacket and there was something about being careful that the button hole didn’t show my nipple.

So I get the gown, jacket & blanket all sorted out and the doctor comes over. But right at that time this step-father shows up and maybe my mom and sister too. He sits down in a chair and is rattling off his mouth. I try to ignore him at first but then I see he won’t stop. I tell the doctor I am afraid of this man. The doctor doesn’t understand.

I stand up and I say “this man is a threat to me. I’m afraid of him and he has to leave.”

So then I now have the doctor’s attention and as I walk towards what I think is security I find the police station is attached to the hospital and I see a woman police officer who I worked with before.

I tell her there is a man here who is a trheat to me and she responds, “Good timing. We just brought someone in for questioning do you want to see how we do it?”

I say sure and I continue walking to follow her. She takes me into a small room with 4-5 other officers who welcome me with nods and smiles and then I see the person who has been arrested. She’s a woman with long hair. I take a seat in a chair nearby but out of the way and start taking notes.

That’s my dream.

There are some neat symbols in this dream. A hospital, a police station – places of healing & protection. Rhett & Link…symbols of people who are creative & successful not just in business but in friendship. My birthday…a metaphor for growth. Blankets…about how we cover up our self, protect ourselves. My step-dad…I guess he is a metaphor for how people can do something when no one is looking and think they can get away with it.

So a dream like this reminds me of a few of my strengths – creative & loyal like Rhett & Link, capacity to heal & recover, and capacity to point out a wrong and go for justice & protection.

My biggest issue is around the blanket/jacket thing but I seem to get it sorted out just fine.

It would be tempting to think of my step-dad as a literal situation and there are steps I can take to continue to follow up with what he did back then but even more interesting than this, and perhaps this is where the learning is, is to consider where in my life now is there someone who is like my step-dad and what kind of threat might he pose to me?

It means to consider ways in which the dream shows the metaphor for the same type of situation which is happening in real life, right now.

In other words, who is he a symbol for in real life?

The answer is not immediately clear. I’ll think about it.