Dream: Making a Movie

In the dream, E.E. and I are in a movie together. We’ve been given parts as husband and wife. He’s sitting on the couch and I’m standing beside him. Secretly I think he’s one of the most handsome and loving men I’ve ever met but our paths are different and we aren’t meant to be partnered, just friends. But I wonder to myself, how will I use my natural attraction to him in the role for effect but also not make it obvious that it is coming from my real feelings.

The director signals it’s time to start and I sit on the couch to his left, figuring I’d snuggle in. The director asked me to sit on him but I didn’t think that was a good idea. Too close. But when I sit beside him that’s not good either. The couch is too soft and I sink too low and our embrace isn’t natural or comfortable. So then I say okay, I’ll sit on your lap.

I sit on his lap and he positions his arm so I can lean against it. He’s strong and supportive. I just relax into him and his other hand reaches over to hold mine. Our fingers entangle together. The soft and sensuous touch is so calming.

On the flip side of this very positive dream was what some would call somethings which were negative to the extreme. In a situation like this, the very positive is the solution to the very negative.

The very negative situation was where I had stopped by to visit someone and my sister was there. In the dream, she did something which caused the charger on my computer to severe in half and become unusable. It was impossible to repair it and I also didn’t have time or money to buy a new one. I calculated that I had about a day’s worth of charge in the computer and wondered how I would solve this in a day so I would have a working computer by the time the battery needed to be charged.

As I was thinking about that she went into a manic state where she was talking loudly, acting unusual and causing a lot of disruption. It got everyone’s attention quickly. My challenge with that was when I wanted to talk to someone about what I needed I couldn’t because they were all absorbed in her nonsensical behaviour.

So – how to solve this?

The problem begins for me when I go into an apartment of someone who has done me wrong in the past. I go there with good intentions to bridge things and they have other ideas which are mainly just to make me look bad.

The difference between this negative scenario and the positive one in a moving-making set is that when we are all sharing a common collective understanding of what we are doing and what we are making then the process goes smoother for everyone.

When I go into a situation and there is no unity of thought I leave without a charger and everything gets chaotic.

The main problem with people who are jealous is that they just try to always bring people into a conflict with them so they can make someone look bad. Staying out of a conflict with them is the key to moving forward charged up and getting really good work done.

For those readers who are new to dreamwork and changework I can imagine some of the concepts in this post are somewhat advanced and without a basic introduction to the work it might seem a bit overwhelming. There is a really good description given by Richard Hastings on this radio show.

For more advanced readers, the basic concepts will be familiar. The idea of using the positive metaphors to flip the negative ones is fundamental. As is the concept of sensual interactions between men and women as being symbolic for intimacy in relationships and integration of qualities.

There is nothing more frightening on the planet then a jealous woman. Her destruction can tear apart dozens of people in a large family. What to do when you go into a situation expecting to help and support but find someone is intent on destroying you?

The solution in this case is to put fears and awkward feelings aside and move forward in positive ways with the right people. Then the right environments open up for true growth and progress in ways that work for everyone.

In that way, the work is not only easy and enjoyable but also continuous and steady. Those old ways can stay in the past where they belong.

 

Change is Not What you Think it is

If you think you know what change is, and you think it’s hard or challenging or one of the things people fear the most, then you might want to consider thinking about it again.

Change is just really not what you think it is.

One of the terms I’ve heard Richard Hastings use often is Changework, which as first seemed strange and I had no idea what he meant. But after studying his method closely for years I think I am at the beginning of being able to understand what he means.

Here are 5 aspects which come to mind today.

  1. Change is work.

Change is work. I think when we get that concept we are one step closer to understanding our own personal challenges and improving our lives in every area.

2. Change is a process.

When we let go of thinking of change as a catastrophic event of some sort and realize that very small shifts in thinking or acting can give us the desired outcomes over time, we can realize change is an ongoing process and not an end result in itself.

3. Change is not an individual thing.

Although we have a lot of individual control over our changework process, change is not a vacuum and it does not happen in isolation. When we change one thing in ourselves it has an effect, directly or indirectly, on everyone we are associated with. Amazing if you think about it, isn’t it?

4. Change is not scary.

Well, some people may start out thinking it is scary or having some sort of anxiety about bad things they think might happen down the road after the change. But in truth, change transforms fear. So even that can be dissolved as courage and confidence grows.

5. Change is the purpose of life.

To grow, change, and develop is the most fundamental and meaningful purpose in life. We do this by knowing our selves, by distinguishing between what leads us upwards towards excellence or what leads us downwards towards devastation. We live out our lives purpose when we pay attention to opportunities for growth and change daily.

You see, change is just not what we think it is. It’s not about just saying, “Ok, this isn’t working. I promise I’ll change.” It’s about looking deep within and understanding the root cause of a challenge and really sitting with the negative emotions and what they tend to lead you to do. Learning to process the negative emotions as they come up in a healthy and productive way which is beneficial for you and others is one of the most rewarding and meaningful things anyone can do. I know because I’ve experienced it for myself and I love sharing the insights which come from the efforts. (Rachel Perry – 28 Feb 2017)

Dream of Taekwondo, working with the metaphor

16586984_900950986674344_4894603575126233385_o(This is a relatively advanced post about dreamwork, metaphors and real life application. It will make more sense to those who have read through the 19-Day Transformation Program and/or Dreamwork Module 1: How To Interpret Your Dreams. If the ideas presented in this post interest you, please consider purchasing through the e-books so you can also experience high degrees of success and happiness through understanding the messages of your dreams and applying solutions which really work.)

Taekwondo is an interesting metaphor.

One of the things I like the most about Taekwondo is that it is based on the ancient teachings of traditional Martial Arts but it has evolved and changed into a modern sport. Along with Boxing, Karate, Wrestling, Judo and Fencing it is an Olympic sport and as such will be included in the 2020 Olympics in Japan. Participating athletes are extremely skilled.

Today I’ve been reflecting on the metaphor of Taekwondo when it shows up in a dream.

This is a sport in which individual athletes face their opponents, one-to-one, and the goal is to try to get them to go off balance, to lose their center, to lose their focus. Each athlete has the goal or agenda to win and the smartest, most skilled athlete achieves this by getting points for each punch or kick to the opponent. High kicks to the head get the most points. Also the more complex the kick the more points are awarded.

Recently I dreamed of someone wanting to learn Taekwondo from me. They wanted to spar with me and had set up an area for us. In the dream, I wasn’t up for the challenge and I went for a run instead. To me, that means I have some growing to do in the area of keeping myself on task and being ready to meet a challenge when it shows up.

My real issue in real life, which showed up in the dream, is that I have a hard time with doing something well when it makes someone I care about look bad. I would rather let them look good, even if they are wrong or messed up. I don’t want to engage with them if it makes them look bad.

So the better thing to do is a situation like the one I had in the dream would be to go in and spar with the person and let them learn from me and in doing so I can also learn from them.

In the dream the person had several belts, showing they had been advancing for a while. The problem was they were wearing many belts at the same time and the one which was the most indicative of their progress was hidden and almost falling off. That means it is like they are afraid to show their skill too.

Because the person was older than me in the dream, and the belts they weren’t wearing were dusty it’s a sign that they had learned things long ago which they had forgotten and they now are taking those things out again, dusting them off and are ready to move forward.

The first advice I would give would be to acknowledge how far they have come and to find a way to honour the growth but not to forget it totally but also to not wear it at all times.

The middle way would be something like hanging up the belts in a meaningful way on a plague or board of some sort. Then they are there and acknowledged but not weighing things down.

The other thing is this will demonstrate the actual level of skill. In my dream, the person had their yellow belt covering up their red. In real life, you would never do this. If you are a red belt, then you wear it really proudly. So this is about being proud of who you are and what you do and being happy to demonstrate it.

This is a good life lesson for everyone.

When we let any fear hold us back then we miss out on really enjoying the good things life has to offer. Fear of looking bad, or fear of making others look bad can leave us feeling disjointed and like we lost our footing.

Better to go for the challenge when it shows up, try your best, and see what happens. There’s bound to be lots of learning a long the way which is good for everyone involved!

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Dreams of Physical Pain & Discomfort

13 February 2017

Last night I dreamed I was working with someone from China and she’d never experienced Canadian summers before. She kept saying it was so hot and she was really uncomfortable in the auditorium and had to go outside. I said to myself that heat & temperature is relative. The temperature felt fine for me but hot to her just because of what she was accustomed to.

Seeing someone else go through this discomfort in a dream means that in real life I can also see when others are uncomfortable. Sometimes even when someone is uncomfortable it doesn’t mean there is anything that has to be done to bring comfort. As in this case, her body and mind just needed time to adjust and she had a close friend with her so there was nothing more for me to do.

Dreams of Sex are Metaphors for Intimacy in Relationships

12 February 2017

Usually when I dream of other people I don’t tell them, I just work through the lesson and apply it. When we dream of someone and it’s positive, it’s good to think of their positive qualities because the dream is about how these qualities are also developing in the dreamer. If we dream of someone and it’s negative, then there is good learning here too. We can think of how do we do that kind of negative behaviour to our Self and we can change things to make them better. When the negatives have a place of origin within abuse or traumatic environments the change and growth can take some time but in the end, all things are possible. My life journey is living proof of that.

So here is my dream. It’s a bit sexual in nature which means it is about integrating with a positive quality of the person I dreamed about. Remember: sex in dreams is a metaphor for intimacy in real life. And real life intimacy is in relationships where there is a lot of Truth, Understanding, Compassion, Strength, Cooperation, etc.
Here is the dream:
In the dream I was working at home at the table. A.A. came up behind me and asked what I was working on. I said a few things. Then he pressed himself right close to me and asked a few more things and leaned over. I commented again about the work and ignored how close he was. The whole right side of his legs and some of his torso was pressed up against my whole left side but I kept turning back to the computer to type.
But then I finished what I was working on and closed the screen and he was still there. He pressed in again and I didn’t move and I had nothing left to say because my work was done. He was talking although now I don’t know what he was saying. As he spoke he got an erection and my left elbow was sort of locked between his abdomen and his erect penis. I was afraid to move it away and turn him on more but I didn’t want to leave it there either.
He kept talking and what he said made sense so I didn’t feel afraid but I didn’t understand what was going on either.
Then it was a different man and he laid down on the table and said “let’s play.” and I said, “Yeah I can play.” So I laid down too and then our bodies got really close and tangled together.
We didn’t kiss though.
Then we go in different directions and he goes back to his room and I go back to mine.
Now it’s like I’m at a home staying with/living with his family but the house is much bigger than in reality and he & his wife have the main floor and his children & family have a full finished basement. I’m on the main floor in a side room. There’s a table beside my bed with a few stones, photographs, etc on it and I notice one that his wife has selected which is inspiring. I don’t know what to think of what has happened and I feel…something I can’t explain.
So then I end up chatting with her a bit. She’s prepared baked goods for a grand-child who is doing well in a sport like gymnastics and she’s making a video, wearing an apron. I give her praise on what she’s doing. I thought I could help but when I see what she’s doing I see there’s nothing I can add.
Then I go to another room and I find him there wearing a white martial arts uniform. He is wearing three belts all at once – yellow, advanced blue and red, although the red is hidden and looks like it’s going to fall off.
He has a ball of other belts tangled up on the floor, dusty and some dirt on them. He starts untangling them and he has cleared the space in the kitchen to practice some forms. I’m intrigued and I ask, “which martial art you are trained in?” He just keeps untangling the belts and mumbles a few things. I realize that he is not sure and I realize I am more advanced in the martial arts then he is. That throws me off a bit because I wanted to spare with him but I didn’t want to be his senior.
I go back to my room and tidy a bit and am thinking how to go back and participate when it looks like he has more belts than I do but really I have more skill. I go to the washroom and realize that there is about the same age between some young guy who has a crush on me and this older man who wants to spare with me. Then I realize things I didn’t realize before.
I go for a run instead of going to the kitchen and as I’m running I go to two places, a little shop & a restaurant, and then I’m headed back to his house with a plan but I realize I am now running on sock feet. I must have started out wearing shoes I tell myself so I must have forgotten them somewhere while on the run. I pause to think of going back for them or taking my socks off and going back to the house.
I decide to take my socks off and go back to the house to spare with him and then to go back and get my shoes after dinner.
So when I woke up I was walking barefoot heading to his house.
***
When dealing with issues, having an attitude of play is always the best policy. So I’m sure with some playfulness I can find and apply the solution to this dream.