Dreamed and published on 07 March 2017
My work and writing challenges what people think about roommates, life partners, and spousal relationships.
One way to think of it is this – Imagine I had a roommate for 10 years who wanted to have sex with me whenever he wanted and it didn’t seem to really matter to him if I wanted to or not. Emotionally this would be devastating for me. If I told you this was a roommate who was doing this action you might perhaps say “that’s rape”…and if I told you that it was a husband who did this action to me then you might say “well, he is your husband afterall…so as a wife it’s your duty isn’t it?”
Is it? Is it really?
Is it my duty because I’m a woman to just give up my mental, emotional and spiritual Strength to surrender my body to a man just because he has a desire for physical pleasure? Even if it devastates me and takes days or weeks to recover from the uncomfortable and unfortunate situation? Even if it takes weeks and during that time I cannot focus on work, or child raising, or participating in community events? Even if the recovery from such an uncomfortable situation is so time-consuming and challenging that I cannot tend to my financial responsibilities as an adult? Even if those unfortunate events destroy me financially – is it my duty to do this because I am not just a roommate but a spouse?
Is he my owner? Does he own my body? Is that what makes marriage into Marriage? Is that what differentiates a roommate from a spouse? The degree to which they can take possession of the woman’s body without legal or social consequences?
These are questions which came to mind today as I reflected on a dream I had about an ex-roommate.
Here is the dream. People will find it useful to research into things such as narcissism, self-defense, and positive parenting after they read the type of dream I had last night and wonder how to turn the negative behaviours of others into positives for your own self and growth.
Here is the dream:
I was on the 6th floor of a building. A woman wearing black and white stripes entered the room which had a feel of an office but was also very casual. I noticed immediately that there was fresh red blood on her shirt above her heard and below her collar bone. I mentioned it to her to offer to help.
Surprisingly, she covered up the area with her hand and then told me there was no blood but I knew what I saw. There was blood. She was lying.
She proceeded to flip through papers on her desk and I reached for my red First Aid bag telling her I had First Aid and I was going to help. Others in the room saw her deception and they didn’t know what to do so they stood back which was good as it gave me space to work but the bad thing is that they then started criticizing my work. Usually when in a first responder situation the person with training stays with the victim and instructs someone else to make a call to 911. But in this case, no one would call 911 as I instructed.
That left me scrambling to try to help with the blood which I was afraid was coming from the heart and also reaching with one arm into my pocket rendering me looking a bit foolish. Instead of helping, the others called me foolish-looking.
As I was calling I learned that there was someone else in the bathroom bleeding from a larger wound, like a knife wound. It was even more serious and more urgent. So I reported this in the call too.
When the ambulance arrived someone did inform me and I was grateful for that. They even helped me make sure I had everything that the patients and I needed when we got to the hospital. I ran down 6 flights of stairs to get the ambulance which nearly left because we were taking so long to get there.
Eventually both patients got to the hospital and everything was okay.
Later I fell asleep in a truck with Gracie.
Her dad approached, saw I was sleeping and lured her out of the truck with promises of “fun things” so she got out and I then got up too.
I approached him in the parkinglot and went into a strong fighting stance asking him, “What’s going on?”
“Nothing much,” he said casually, trying to deceive me.
“Well it looks to me like something much is going on,” and I made myself really tall. “I’m the senior here and I’m the one in authority,” I told him “and Gracie isn’t going anywhere.”
And he said, “Yeah fine. Whatever.” And he backed away.
Then I was like, “Yeah that’s right. That’s how it is.” And I took my daughter’s hand and we went back to what we were doing.
So the important thing when working with dreams and metaphors is to remember that the person in the dream is a SYMBOL for something and that it doesn’t necessarily mean there is a literal application immediately. In time it becomes clear what is to be literal and what is not.
The person in this dream who was trying to take my daughter away from me is just a symbol of narcissistic behaviour and you can learn more about destroying that kind of negativity in your life at this link to YouTube videos by Aydin RD.
This dream reveals the two ways in which people can deal with injuries. They can cover up the bleeding and pretend its not there, like the first woman, and this behaviour comes across as deceptive and dishonest. Or they can just obviously bleed out and while it is somewhat more messy and potentially embarrassing because it is obvious it is a more honest situation and is therefore actually easier to clean up and deal with.
If we think of the two types of injured people in my dream we can see two ways which narcissists act – one is to be overt with their bad behaviour symbolized in the dream with the woman bleeding in the bathroom and the other is to be covert and hidden with their bad behaviour such as the woman who lied about being injured.
It is much harder to deal with the covert negativity because it is hidden. But it can be done, as my dream shows.
Communication is the key. That’s why I was reaching for my phone in the dream.
That’s all I can say today.
If you have dealt with a negative person in the past or are dealing with it now, please feel free to write about it in the comments section and lets see what strategies work to keep your self protected so you can grow your own positive qualities and enjoy the life you were meant to have.