Category Archives: Car Collison

Dreamwork/Changework: Working Through Strong Feelings of Anger, Rage …

[Editorial Note/Update: In the past, I used to write about strong negative emotions and the way to work through them to get to the positive opposite as a way to demonstrate how to make really powerful transformation happen immediately. This approach that I use works every time, is long-lasting, and profound. However, I am no longer using this open forum to demonstrate the process of transformation publicly. This post, written back in September 2017, is an example of those kinds of “process posts” I used to do. What Courage and Confidence it takes to share such a personal experience in such a public way! The key in any transformation is to notice the negative, notice where it shows up in the body, name the emotion and then use a variety of ways to let it go. Either with visualization techniques or with various writing exersizes the emotion can really be detached from nearly entirely and a much more positive experience can be brought to light. So I just ask when you read this to not judge me and to understand where I was coming from when I wrote this. I was writing as a way to support others who are still living with their abusers, who are still suffering in domestic violence situations, who are trapped in their own anger/rage and don’t see a way out. I hope my open posts about processing negatives provides a way out. That is my intention. Thank you.]

13 September 2017

Anyone who knows me will tell you that my sense of direction is weak.

I can turn out onto a street and then lose track of where I am going and have to turn around again. At this point in my life I realize that even though I have gotten better to a degree in this area, I will likely never have a “good sense of direction.” My mind is just not equipped with excellent spacial awareness. With attention and effort it has gotten better, yes, but it will likely never be 100%.

If someone is driving with me and going through the period of “I’m a bit lost/turned around … just give me a second” it can cause anyone a relative degree of frustration. I understand that. What I need at that time is to just get myself grounded and centered again until I can re-focus and continue on. I need a few minutes. I need a breather.

When I don’t get what I need, which sometimes happens because it’s inevitable that things do not always go the way we want in life, I find myself getting angry.

Sometimes when I’m feeling angry I can feel the heat rising in my chest and I can feel my face get hot. Who knows if I actually turn red but I can feel the anger as though it’s burning in my eyes and lips. I don’t like to feel that way. I’d prefer to avoid it. In the past, I used to endure a high degree of negative behaviour no matter how angry it made me feel, but not anymore.

Now, as soon as I start to feel that hot anger rising within me I start thinking about what I can do to change. Sometimes I can change the way I’m looking at a situation. Sometimes I can change where I am or what I’m doing. Sometimes I can change the way I’m speaking. The possibilities for change are endless.

Taking a few big deep breaths and coming at a conversation with a fresh perspective is always helpful in dealing with a situation which is causing anger.

In the past, I also used an Anger work sheet created by Richard Hastings. The questions on this work sheet would help me notice what was causing the anger. There are questions such as: when was the earliest time I remember feeling that kind of anger?how do I cause this to myself? and then also what can I do to have more Peacefulness?

Going through this worksheet helped me to take responsibility for my strong emotions and it really helped me to turn them around to something much more productive & positive.

If you haven’t had the chance to work through your anger in this way, I’d strongly recommend it. You might be surprised at the high degree of Peacefulness & Gratitude which emerges.

Daily Dream Diary – Being Dragged By a Car

Written around October 2016 – posted in February 2017

  • walking through a forest which was other-worldly
  • it was like it was man-made and natural at the same time
  • the trees had rocks on them or were made out of rocks or grew through the rocks
  • the crickets were there but sparse

 

  • i was being dragged under a car
  • feel the ground on my skin
  • it was dark
  • i felt it & then also backed away and watched it
  • it was quite horrible

 

I’ll tell you what these dreams mean.

A forest is a metaphor for the mind. For it to have an other-wordly feel means I could go to places in my mind which were different than what is predictable and common. Perhaps some might call this a gift with Creativity and perhaps it might also be called a skill at being able to use my imagination with expertise in my creative work endeavors.

Trees are about growth.

Crickets are small insects and the first thing to come to mind is that they are what we feed pet snakes. Snakes are about transformation and change.

To dream of being dragged by a car means someone is doing something which is controlling the direction of my life and they don’t care if it hurts me or not. Since I had a strong physical sensation of my skin on the ground it means there’s a strong likelihood that what the person is doing will show up in my day-to-day life and I will have some hurt and negativity to deal with.

Feeling it and then backing away and watching it means that I can detach from really negative situations and look at them from a distance which gives me a perspective and allows me to grow and learn from the experience.

The feeling of horror in the dream woke me up to something to be alert to. In fact, something really negative did happen in real life a short time after this dream. I’d like to think that I was somewhat prepared for it and that I handled the situation well, all things considered.

 

Daily Dream Diary – Saving a Baby From a Burning Car

In the dream, I learn a baby has been left in a car. Someone points out to me that a metal piece from one car has poked a hole in the car with the baby. The hole is near the gas tank. Just as I’m thinking to remove the baby then the owner gets in the car to drive away. The others tell him to stop but he doesn’t because he is like a mobster and thinks he can do anything he wants. So he turns the ignition again. From where I am I can see sparks begin to fly and yet he tries again. The others don’t know what to do to get him to stop but I have an idea.

As I go to the baby to remove her I also shout, “STOP! Fire!” and those words catch his attention. But it’s too late. He turns the ignition again and the car bursts into flames. Luckily I had very quickly untied the 6 month old baby and held her close to me as I ran a distance away. Not even the heat of the flames could reach me.

Later I did two things. I brought the baby to her parents and I told them what I did. I said it was good that I was able to remove her and I said if they hired me privately as a full time care-giver then I could have full rights to continue protecting her. I told them as a private arrangement we have more rights than if we don’t formalize it. They agreed.

Then I went back to the parking lot at the car dealership and found two police investigators checking out the remains of the burnt car. I approached them calmly and after a few attempts at starting I was able to tell them what I had seen and heard. They were grateful for my information because no one else survived and they had no idea what happened.

(Interestingly, because I explained the details to the investigators in the dream then when I woke up I could remember the details with more clarity.)

My input helped them figure out what happened.

I had two other dreams. One was a really awesome river dream in that I was flowing and floating down a peaceful river with friends and could easily kick and splash my feet. When I think of the action and the way I was swimming it was like I was a mermaid, although I wasn’t conscious of that in the dream. It was such a playful and carefree experience.

In another dream, I was in an apartment in a high sky-rise with Gracie and a friend or two. They were playing around and then something caught my attention that someone from far away in another high sky rise was monitoring us from a great distance with binoculars. I took action and closed the blinds. There was a bit of confusion and then we were outside. I saw one or two people in black and one person was very tall and in green. It was more like an intelligent creature, sent to scare me but I wasn’t scared.

I gave instructions to the girls and later when I was talking to those who hired me as a care-giver I mentioned this strange surveillance issue. They were not worried and basically told me to keep doing what I’m doing.