Category Archives: Parenting

Dreamwork: Helping a Child

Here is a dream:

In the dream, I am at an over-night camp working as a counsellor/director. One of the little campers (who had special needs and in real life I won a region-wide award for the program I ran for him) was bothering some of the other staff. I said, “Let me handle this,” and went into the room he locked himself in.

I found him sitting in a chair in a library, rocking.

I talked gently to him and talked him into putting the chair away and then coaxed him out of the room.

Back in the hall, he sat on my lap and the others on the team were so surprised that he wasn’t angry or acting out but was being gentle and kind.

When he got up to go play with the others, I talked to the team and told them I’ve worked with him for 4 years now and I just know him well. I said I’d write the incident report for this so the progress he was making was tracked.

It was such a nice feeling to help a child who no one else valued.

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Interpretation:

When a positive dream shows up, it doesn’t need to be flipped around like the negative images of a fearful dream. The idea with positive dreams is you can just dive right in to the experience and carry the good feelings all day long. It means the skills, capacities, supports and environment is in place now for this aspect of the self to be used.

But what does that mean exactly?

In this blog, I’ll show you how I process a great dream like this and how I use the positive message to remind me of a skill I have in order to help children in real life.

But for now – I can just say that the message of this dream is for me to feel happy and confident about the opportunities ahead and to remember what I’ve done well in the past and keep on doing it! When I consider this, I feel really excited!

Stay tuned as I’ll share updates on this in the blog soon!

 

Dream: Poorest of the Poor

In the dream, a person has visited the house. But this is not my house. It has the feeling of the old farmhouse but even worse – it’s not mine, even though I”m acting like it is. What I mean by that is that even though I was in it, I had the feeling like I was trying to pretend that I knew the house, that is was mine. So right from the beginning, sitting on a couch beside someone I’m thinking “who is she?…why is she here?…what does she want???…and there is nothing in the space for me to connect and ground with. I think at first I thought she was in the wrong house, got the wrong person but then she kept asking questions and wouldn’t leave.

So then it happens that we go into the kitchen. Gracie is hungry. I don’t like this kitchen, don’t like the food that’s in the cupboards, don’t like the way the woman is looking at me, but I get that she is observing me like a CAS worker feeling. But at the same time I realize that she also finally picks up that she is also in the wrong house, that she has to go. The energy shifts and it’s lighter. So I”m feeling really aware of everything I say and do, how I speak to Gracie, and how it will be perceived. I open a cupboard and am looking. It’s all boxed and canned food and I hate it all. I can’t think about what we have that we can eat. The woman is talking and making excuses about why she was here and how come she has to go now. She says she can see my schedule is full and she is sorry to bother me, etc.
But at the same time she says that I also “lose it” internally – I can’t think of food, I can’t think of what to say to Gracie, I feel so guilty for not being a better mom, I feel so tired, I feel so disconnected to this stupid house and want out but don’t want to tell her it’s not my house otherwise it would look bad, and I just want to collapse on the ground – but I get that would be “soggy back pack” so instead I just turn and lean against the counter and I take a few deep breaths. This signals to Gracie to back off and the woman too. It gives her an out. She says she can see I have a lot going on and she is sorry to bother me.
I’m alittle annoyed now that she is leaving because it just starts to get better. Once gracie backs off and I breath I can think of what I want to eat. Gracie pulls down cat food and for a moment I had even thought of eating that. but then I say No there is something better. I start to pull out things from the cupboards with an idea. Also I figure what to say to Gracie to stop her – I had said something earlier like “get out of my head” and I had thought that was a mistake but it actually worked and the woman nodded and took notes. She seemed to like what I was saying and doing, taking notes and smiling.

 

Richard Wrote:

This dream seems to be about the remembered state when you were really at the lowest low of being poor. It was like you were in a borrowed self.  Now you can change this dream by thinking about how you really want the house and imagine living in it each day fully.  Think of it more in superlatives to the degree that you can.  What is the best house (self) that you can imagine?

Three Orcas & Interpretation

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Dear Richard,

How are you? I trust you are enjoying the holiday season.

I have been receiving a dream that keeps repeating itself and growing in intensity. Although I have been trying to interpret it myself I think there is something I am missing and the dream I had last night prompted me to write to you.

The repetative dream I keep having is about me and my daughter. In each dream she is talking so much and I become very angry with her. In each dream I am violent to her to get her to stop. I hit her, slap her, or put my hand over her mouth sort of suffocating her, or even put my hand in her mouth. She always resists. Never stops and it makes me more and more angry. The dreams just end with me doing these horrible things.

So this is not at all the way that I parent, making it hard to even share that I am having these dreams. However, I have learned so much from your interpretations and I do believe that the dreams are teaching me how to be more peaceful. These dreams remind me of how I felt when I was Grace’s age.

Some adults “smothered” (metaphorically and sometimes literally)  the way I am smothering her in the dream. I suspect I still have pain here and some forgiveness is needed.

But why in the dream is it me being violent to my daughter instead of me as a child? It has been my life’s passion to be a loving and nurturing parent, to have a peaceful and spirit-filled home. But is the dream telling me if I don’t change some things the consequence is that I will have a negative impact on my daughter the same way adults had on me?

Well, I am sure my emotions around this topic prevent me from gaining the insight. I’ll pray for detachment and in the meantime await your response.

Last night, I prayed before bed and reflected on my current waking life situation with Grace. I prayed for guidance about how to understand what the violent dreams are telling me.

Then I dreamed this:

Grace and I were at an amusement park and were going down to see the whale show. The bleachers were set up beside the ocean. We go down there and there are 3 orca whales that are interacting with the people in the front row. They are playful and beautiful. So magestic. Grace comes down and is in a great mood then she just jumps right into the water. I’m not concerned at first. I know she can swim. But then instead of coming up to me she swims farther into where the whales are swimming and even past them. A lifeguard jumps out to get her. The whole audience is hushed as they wait. The lifeguard gets her and brings her back. She had swam very deep and very far away. Never coming up for air but not appearing to struggle. I hold her and hug her and say ‘Oh my girl. I love you so much. You scared me.” She doesn’t understand what the big deal was. I don’t know what to tell her.

(In the time when the lifeguard is swimming out to her and the audience is hushed I am feeling ashamed that she just jumped like that and I didn’t protect her. I feel that the audience is judging me and that it appears she doesn’t respect me.)

Thank you Richard.

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Dear Rachel,
It is nice to hear from you.    In the first dream you can think of yourself as your daughter, while in the second dream you can think of your daughter being you and it being her.

In the first dream you (as your daughter’s age) want to speak, but you as the mother want to her stop in a violent way.   So you can say that you are violent with yourself from speaking out more probably in a positive way about the big dreams you have and the things you want to do.    The second dream is clearer about it.   You have 3 big dreams (goals in your life) which are symbolized by the 3 Orcas and at first you can just dive into to achieve them, but then you get fearful of going too deep and too far and begin to panic so you send out the rescue to get yourself back to where you are right now.

The way you are raising your daughter and leading your life is allowing her and you to have big dreams and to go for them but you are fearful of going too deep and too far so then you do everything you can to stop them even being violent as in the first dream.    The fear began at the current age your daughter is and that is why you are violent to shut it down because you are so fearful that something bad is going to happen to her because something bad happened to you at that age.

So you can say that you are doing a wonderful job raising your daughter and that is leading her and you to be able to have big dreams and aspirations,  but there is a fear that something bad is going to happen that keeps you from going after the bigger things and thus encouraging her to bigger things.

As soon as you address the fear you can be thinking much larger about your life.

Sweet dreams

Richard

Dear Richard,

Okay – thank you so much! It is always nice to hear from you too 🙂 I thought you’d enjoy reading these 🙂

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REFLECTIONS ON RICHARD’S INTERPRETATION

The Three Orcas –

1) STABLE AND PEACEFUL HOME – I am so grateful to have been living in a stable and peaceful home for years now. My personal relationship with myself and others is comfortable and peaceful now.

2) AUTHOR AND SPEAKER – I am so grateful to have something meaningful to write about around the topic of transformation from Poverty To Prosperity and how it relates to dreamwork, change work, and fitness.

3) DAILY SPIRITUAL PRACTICE – I am so grateful to experience  a daily spiritual practice which gives me inspiration, guidance and calm even in some of the most challenging life storms.

Please God, let me eliminate the fear that is preventing me from going deeper into these dreams.