16 September 2017

When there is an abuse of power in a relationship someone or both partners are seeking always to take over the life of the relationship.

Depending on the ego of the individuals involved the conflict patterns will vary.

But one thing that remains the same is that the negative behaviour is based on Fear.

Sometimes in a relationship, one or the other people take on the role of being the “fixer” so when issues show up then the “fixer” starts fixing. The problem with this scenario is that it keeps “the fixer” tied to the “breaker” in a negative way. And since it is the intention of the “breaker” to always keep breaking things, well then nothing can truly ever get fixed.

This can leave “the fixer” feeling depleted, embarrassed, emotionally drained and without a positive vision of where things can go next. It is common for empathetic people to be drawn to those who are perpetually negative because they always feel that they can help when in truth they can’t. This is such a big lesson to learn.

A relationship of this nature is not balanced or harmonious and it’s not good for either individual. It would be better for the empathetic and caring “fixer” to find ways to avoid the conflict, to avoid the negative behaviours and to surround themselves with more positive people who are not taking so much from the relationship.