My Dream of my boyfriend: People in Dreams are Metaphors & The Goal of Dreamwork is Transformation

The biggest mistake people make when they are first starting out in the transformation process and just newly beginning to make positive changes is that when they have a dream they will think of it literally. For example, if I dream that someone is my boyfriend it doesn’t mean they should be /are my boyfriend in real life. If I dream of working somewhere it doesn’t mean I do or should work there in real life. Dreams are metaphors; they are symbols. And the message of the dream is ALWAYS about how to overcome an issue and get to the positive growth. Sometimes in really positive dreams, there are no issues and the dream is a positive encouragement to really drive forward in life with getting to your goals.

Here is a dream about someone who is my boyfriend in the dream but is not my boyfriend in real life:

In the dream, I am enjoying a dinner party with an attractive man who was my boyfriend in the dream, even though he isn’t in real life. There is a large catered dinner for guests at this resort and I watch a server bring out a roasted turkey on a platter, slice it expertly with one hand and then distribute it to the guests seated at the table.

I turn to my date who is sitting across the table from me. The lights are dim and it’s quiet in our corner. A server brings us over a tall glass of beer telling us it is one of their finest. I chuckle a bit on the inside that the restaurant has gone to the efforts to try to make beer fancy. And I am also thinking about how to tell my date that I don’t drink but I am also thinking maybe I will drink, just a little. I’m imagining how delicious and refreshing it would be.

He tells me he wants to order more alcohol but wonders what kind I would like. I start remembering what I’ve drank in the past and what tasted good. So as I’m sitting there thinking about my options then a large insect flies onto my arms.

It’s the size of my forearm, has huge wings and the general appearance of a horse fly but it is more colourful. Once it lands it is so still and does not move an inch. I perceive no threat. It doesn’t seem to have any stinger or an intention to bite or sting. So I just observe it and it is really quite intricate.

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Sometimes, in a dream, the true character of someone emerges, or a truth about a situation is revealed which was previously hidden. Take this next dream, for example, in it, I realize that someone is doing something she isn’t supposed to. She’s hiding something and she’s at the wrong place at the wrong time in her life so it shows up in the dream. I discover the truth by just doing a regular daily activity. She is the one who is up to no good. For me in the dream, I’m enjoying a walk in the neighbourhood. For her, she’s criminally-minded and trying to keep secrets. Here is the dream:

In my dream, it was back when I was in my 20s and we lived in the same part of town. I am walking down the street and see her come out of her apartment to walk her dog Noah and I’m surprised to see her and say/or think something like, “My friend! What are you doing here? You died!” And her reply was something like, “yeah, Rache, I’m dead but I didn’t want to go just yet so they (?) gave me another week so I can stay for another week but no one is supposed to know Rache but now here you are and now you know. Leave it to you to be at the wrong place at the wrong time (when I’m trying to hide something).”I say, “okay. Can I join you for the walk then?” And she says okay.

Richard Hastings, director of Dreams For Peace, interprets my dream to mean this: Your dream is about discovering the truth by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was the wrong place for her, but the right place for you. It is all about the frame you need to be in to work with criminals.

When I work with criminals I keep their spiritual nature in mind. I look for the positives in their character. I listen and observe how their True Self is trying to develop, despite the challenges. It’s helpful to keep in mind that the growth process in life is never-ending and the biggest obstacles we face are there for our spiritual development. This is an excellent post, by Richard Hastings, about inherited, learned and acquired gifts and skills.

Sometimes the metaphor of the dream helps me to understand their inner challenge and what I can do to encourage positive growth. Here is a dream, for example, about a very spiritual person who was also a criminal. In real life, she hid a lot from me and tried only to show her positive sides but she had a part of her, which was learned and acquired, which was criminally-minded at times. Eventually, I found out the truth. Here is the dream:

This morning I woke up at 4:30am having just had a dream about someone. In the dream I am traveling with her. She’s dying of cancer and telling everyone it’s her last days and I’m there with her to comfort and encourage her. She looks beautiful, wearing turquoise and white, wearing large stones, beautiful jewelry and sandals.

When she curls herself up into a ball sobbing I just wrap my arms around her and hold her, comfort her and rock her a little bit, saying soothing words, encouraging her. In another part, I’m the one upset and she tells me I have to get ready to let her go and I tell her no and she says Yes.

We are driving in her old car “Nelly” and I’m in the backseat. Soon a helicopter is shining a light on us and police are calling out commands in their loudspeaker. For some reason she keeps going and I don’t understand why she’s not stopping. She tells me she’s going to go as far as she can and when it’s time to stop she will.

Eventually she does stop, by the Peace Bridge in Fort Erie and an officer arrests her. I’m standing by the car confused.

Are they just stopping her to question her? Are they going to detain her? Has she done more than I am aware of? Will I be questioned?

She looks over at me, with her hands behind her back in handcuffs and she mouths to me that she’s sorry, sort of shaking her head like she sees how wrong she was and she’s sorry. But I have no idea what is going on.

Why are there helicopters? Is this the end of it or is there more? The dream ends like that. Me looking over at her with handcuffs on waiting for instructions and me looking back at her like “What?!?”

Here is Richard’s interpretation:

If you think of your friend in the same way that you see the people you work with in prison, you can begin to be successful with them. There is a part of her that is very beautiful and spiritual and there is a part of her that is criminal.

When you think of her as beautiful, you can embrace her and help her, but when she is facing the police, you are just confused. The people in prison are exactly like her. They have beautiful as well as criminal aspects. In the first part of their treatment your goal is to find the beautiful aspects of them because that is who they are inherently. In the second part of the work you have to deal with the criminal behaviour which is where you find the innate gifts, the gifts that will help transform the world, that gifts that are unique to them.

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Dreamwork With Prisoners uses The 19-Day Transformation Program as a guide to support healing & transformation for people who have been incarcerated. The same book and principles are also used to support victims of domestic violence. For more information on The 19-Day Transformation Program and to view the unique approach which is changing the lives of many, you can click on this link.