07 September 2017

When I first heard this concept that “Fear Has a Structure” I had no idea what the person was talking about and it might sound strange to you too.

But after years of seeking to understand I believe I’m finally beginning to get it.

People in different cultures share specific fears, and pass down those fears to their children and their grand-children based on the specific dangers or threats in their environments. That’s why people from the West will have different generalized fear than people who grew up in the East.

It must apply to the whole of humanity as well. That there are some fears which affect EVERYONE. I bet the fear of being isolated, alone or excluded is up there as the top Mother of All Fears which no one can really escape because we are a social species, designed to work together for the common good of all.

With this in mind, it is easier to understand how the same negative behaviour can show up in a family AND in a co-worker AND in a neighbour. If three people from the same culture have the same fear (of being isolated, for example) and they’ve all learned the same negative coping pattern – teasing or criticizing others for example – then it means one individual could hypothetically speaking be dealing with 3 others who are all fear-based critical people.

This is the reason why learning to deal with a negative behaviour in a family can also help to solve issues with negative behaviour in the work place.

Wherever it shows up, whichever environment, the solutions are the same. Be positive & warm even to those who are unkind and cruel.

Show them by your own behaviour how you would like them to treat you and let them learn from the results of their own behaviours.