24 July 2017
In the dream, I am traveling with E.N. who I usually have a lot of respect for. But then he begins to behave oddly. I can’t recall a lot of the details of what he did but I remember being in the hotel room and he wanted in and I didn’t want to let him in. He was pointing at things and saying, “Come on, Rachel” and I just said No.
And it occurred to me that this must have been what happened to others when they were working with him. The nature of the work pushes us past ourselves & most people do not want to be pushed so far. It seemed I understood why people would quit working with him.
There are so few images I can recall. The only one which comes to mind was that he had a box of toys and he held out one that he invited me to play with. I said No.
So I was learning about him and what some options were but I didn’t want to play. I hadn’t decided to leave but was hesitating to move forward also.