07 July 2017

The other night I dreamed I was diving in deep into a pool. I held my breath at the bottom. Then I launched like a rocket back to the surface, exhaling as I traveled. Once re-emerged, I got out of the pool & dried off. I was surrounded by 1000+ others. No one knew my name. No one knew who I was. No one cared.

The really amazing thing about this dream is that it shows a gift on my part to be able to dive deep into relating with others. It means I can go deeply into a friendship for example. It means I do not have issues with jealousy, anger or fear the way I used to. So this is really positive.

The really troubling part is about the 1000+ people who only care about materialistic goals & aims. They only care about the aggressive climb “to the top” and they don’t care who they hurt on the way up. They are in a power-driven “game” thirsting for the thrill they get when they perceive themselves as winning and they get crowned the award, the promotion, the scholarship.

The dream clearly shows the big issue in our modern day culture which doesn’t put much value on going deep into friendships and relationships.

People like me, who have a natural gift for it, just have no interest in the materialistic “game.”

In fact, all the noise & chatter just gives me a headache. I tend to want to avoid large gatherings where people are only seeking their own glory and don’t give two-hoots about who they hurt on the way up to that falsely glorified position.

There is a gathering coming up which I’ll be attending which I fear will be a lot like this. People motivated to get to the top. But even worse, they are motivated to get to the top and imagine themselves as “leaders” in the field. They believe they have a solution for everything. They believe they know better than anyone what is a good way to solve the challenges someone is facing. It makes me nauseous just thinking about it.

Nonetheless, the dream invites me to consider that maybe, just maybe, I can be my gifted self alongside the 1000+ others who are mostly blinded to be able to see a gift even if it landed on their front doorstep.

I’d like to believe I can be my gifted self even in a large group of others who are trained to look for weakness instead of strength, to look for blind-spots instead of bright lights.

I’ll go to the gathering even though I suspect it will be an emotional disaster and I’ll just blog about the process and hope that helps me survive. Haha.

Stay tuned.