21 August 2017

Here’s the thing – the word torture probably brings up images of people in chains being whipped or harmed by jailers, or maybe it brings up images of CIA folks dunking someone’s face in water until they spill the beans but torture can look like other things too.

For a woman living in a relationship where her partner/spouse/husband thinks he is superior to her and when he cuts her down and cuts her off from herself & from enjoying a fulfilling life than this is a form of TORTURE too.

How to survive?

Okay. Well, if you are in the relationship, get out. First of all. Be Safe. That’s the most important thing and there are a lot of resources online and in most localities which can help women move out of these unhealthy relationships.

But if you are already out and suffer from the fear of the memory of what you have lived through then there is something more you can do. You can re-train your mind to let go of the negative memories associated with the torture which was endured in that relationship.

There are many things which can be done but here are a few steps to try out.

1. Bring to mind a memory of a time when you FELT tortured – what was the circumstance? What was he saying and doing? What did you do after he said/did these things?
2. Turn down the volume on his voice like you are watching a TV screen and have turned down the sound. How do you feel now that you can’t hear his poisonous words?
3. Turn off the visual image of him in that memory like you were doing an edit on a movie screen or a photo, just photo-shop him out of the image. Now how do you feel?

The end result should leave you feeling a bit of freedom of movement. It’s as though you can say to yourself, “If he wasn’t saying and doing what he is saying and doing, if he didn’t exist, then how would I feel and what would I do next?”

Calling the negative to mind and then working through to eliminate it is one of the most powerful techniques you can use to free yourself from negative memories of the past & move forward confidently in the direction of the positive vision for yourself and those you love.