14 April 2017

Last night I dreamed of two things really close to my heart ~ Chocolate Cake & Homefront Pioneering.

It’s hard to write about the worst part of the dream because it was so bad. The dream with the cake it in makes me smile though and brings sweetness to the scenario so I’ll do the best part first and then tackle the worst.

In the best part of the dream I was in a gathering where we were all in a circle and I brought a cake which was salty & sweet and no one had tasted one like this before. I handed it out and everyone wanted to try. Each person enjoyed experiencing it and would say a word to describe it. One said, “Strange”; one said “surprisingly delicious”; one said “unusual and wonderful”; and they went on like that. I was so delighted that they all liked my unusual cake and were willing to try. It made me so happy. 

Alright, so that was the best part. Here is the worst part….

Again I was in an environment which I was unfamiliar with and it’s hard for me to describe. (That alone is like a nightmare for a writer! Haha.) So I’m there with a large number of people, by a water front. The feeling is like being at a summer festival of sorts. Many others are enjoying the day, doing water activities, eating from food trucks, etc but my heart & mind are heavy and I feel too tired to join in. But not so heavy that I want to leave. I just can only do a minimal of participation. 

So then an odd thing starts happening where I keep seeing the word “Homefront Pioneer” and at first the signs are about individuals who were at war and they pioneered in the homefront to wage war from the homeland instead of going overseas. But the more I thought about it the more I realized it’s like what I’ve done too…Homefront Pioneering to a new location, at home, to escape a war in once sense and to move postivie goals forward in another sense. 

Then when I’m thinking about this and am back by the water, someone says to me they want to be a homefront pioneer. She is like H.B. & S.L. combined into one person. I tell her that her intentions are good but I convey that it’s harder than she could imagine and I give her some idea of what it’s like to be me. I explain the hardship and the challenges, the struggles and the obstacles. Then she realizes it’s not just a walk in the park but it’s actually hard work to change people’s paradigms and to create something new.

She nods and tells me she understands and then she walks away. 

In that moment, I wonder to myself, if I had known it would be this hard would I have done it? And I’m not sure of the answer.