Notice what you want to do but can’t. Identify the biggest obstacle or challenge.
Feel it in the body. What does it feel like and where? Is it like smoke in the lungs? Or hitting a brick wall? Or having fire on the skin? Whatever is the feeling notice it. The solution is the opposite of the negative feeling.
In my case today the feeling is like drywall in a house so I visualized walking through it. The biggest challenge in real life is having limited funds in my account and also having no predictable source of income. It makes me feel like I am up against a wall.
So I summon up determination to get through this wall and I visualize myself walking through it. Then I ask myself what is the future end result which I want as my intention for going through this wall? I realized that I needed to look ahead 30 years, to when I’m 69 in order to really understand what it is I want.
I got visions of all these problems solved, of having more than enough money for myself and to share and most of all to be working with orphaned/disadvantaged children in an agricultural setting and writing about it all. It was such a happy vision of a positive future for me, Gracie, my grand-children and even a spouse for both of us! 🙂
Then I did a bit of writing/journaling about the positive vision and then I started looking around in my real life today to think about what is my biggest obstacle today which I could remove which would get me closer to actualizing this vision.
That is when the big wave of “I don’t want to be here” came over me and I just wanted to sleep. Instead of sleeping I wrote this.
At the moment, I clearly see about 44 things which I could do in order to begin removing this obstacle. I do not clearly see which of these 44 things is a priority. That makes me just want to sleep.
When I get better at liking the process of working through the issues and removing the obstacles I think I will no longer have that feeling of not wanting to be here dealing with these injustices day after day. That will be so nice.
