“Let yourself have your sadness. It is a good teacher.” (Anonymous)

This quote is about developing intimacy in relationships.

I’m only just beginning to be ready to talk about this. But it’s showing up everywhere in my life these days. People’s strong need to connect & understand & develop and grow is so forceful that it shows up everywhere. So I know it’s time to write about it.

There’s so much to say about this and I just can’t put it as a priority today.

But I can say this, at one time or another the people we love the very most will disappoint us. That is certain.

When we hope or expect something and then it is not delivered, it is so natural to feel sad about that.

When we fight the sadness, deny, ignore or stuff it away it stays and lingers. It effects relationships in all areas of life.

But if we become friends with the sadness, like in the movie Inside Out, then we can learn something about ourselves & about others & I’d even go so far as to say about life as a whole.

One time, someone did something and I reacted with sadness. Because I “let myself have the sadness” then I could also release it. Then when that same person did the same thing again – guess what! I did not react with sadness the second time.

What I learned about them the first time the did something which made me feel sad helped me understand where they were coming from. It helped me have compassion. It helped me detach.

So when they did the same behaviour again, because of my deep love for them, I just understood and detached.

Now, instead of sadness, I only feel Joy, Connection and Gratitude.

So, so, so much gratitude!

In this way the relationship grows stronger instead of weaker and bonds of friendship extend to people who live near or far, people I’ve seen or talked to recently or people I haven’t seen or talked to in months or years.

No more sadness. Just Joy!